Are You Raising Arrows or Just Surviving Motherhood?
- Alicia Reagan
- 8 hours ago
- 5 min read
Mama, can I be honest with you for a minute?
Most of us are not raising arrows. We are surviving. We are managing snacks and moods and homework and bedtime routines and sibling arguments and screen time battles. And we fall into bed at night wondering if we did enough, said enough, prayed enough. We wonder if we are failing our children in ways we cannot see yet.
I want you to know: that question itself tells me something about you. The mother who wonders if she is doing enough still cares deeply. But caring deeply is not the same as mothering on purpose. And that is what I want to talk about in this brand new summer series: Raising Arrows.
What Does It Mean to Raise an Arrow?
Psalm 127:4 says, "As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth."
That one verse reframes everything.
Your children are not decorations. They are not distractions, inconveniences, trophies, or little extensions of your own identity. They are arrows. Arrows are not shaped carelessly. They are formed with purpose. They are straightened, sharpened, aimed, and released.
An arrow is made for direction. It is made for flight. It is made to be sent.
That means motherhood is not merely about keeping children alive until adulthood. Underneath the laundry, the carpool lines, the meal planning, and the exhaustion, something eternal is happening in your home. You are helping form a soul.
That child in your house is not simply a personality to manage or a behavior problem to solve. That child is an eternal soul, made by God, known by God, and accountable to God. And in His wisdom, He placed that child with you. Not by accident, not randomly, and not because He could not find someone more qualified.
The Lie Our Culture Tells Mothers
Our culture is very loud about motherhood. But it is not always truthful.
The world will tell you motherhood is whatever you want it to be. It will say children are accessories to your personal dreams, or obstacles to your freedom. It will measure your success in grades, scholarships, achievements, photographs, and how well your family appears to be doing from the outside.
But Scripture does not speak of motherhood so lightly. The Bible calls children "an heritage of the Lord," a stewardship and a trust. A steward is someone who cares for what belongs to another. And that is what we are.
We do not own our children. They belong first and finally to God.
Perfect Motherhood vs. Faithful Motherhood
Here is the thing I most want you to hear, and I say it as a woman who has walked through a spinal cord injury, chronic pain, divorce, and the daily weight of single motherhood:
There are no self-sufficient mothers. There are only mothers who know they need grace, and mothers who have not admitted it yet.
Motherhood has a way of bringing a woman to the end of herself. It exposes impatience we thought we had outgrown, reveals fears we thought we had surrendered, and uncovers the deep, sometimes frightening love that would make us fight the whole world for our children.
And somewhere in the middle of all that ordinary chaos, God gives mothers holy work.
Not glamorous work. Not applauded work. But holy work.
The question is whether we are chasing the wrong goal. So many of us are chasing perfect motherhood when God is calling us to faithful motherhood. There is a world of difference between the two.
Perfection says: Never fail. Faithfulness says: Return to the Lord again.
Perfection says: Control every outcome. Faithfulness says: Obey God with what He has placed in your hands.
Perfection says: Hide your weakness. Faithfulness says: Let your children see what repentance looks like.
Perfection says: If my children struggle, I must have failed. Faithfulness says: I will keep sowing truth, keep praying, keep loving, keep correcting, and keep trusting God with the harvest.
That is the kind of motherhood we are going to talk about this summer. Not polished motherhood. Not performative motherhood. Not social-media motherhood. Biblical motherhood.
Someone Is Discipling Your Children
I want to say something that I mean with full tenderness, but also with full seriousness:
Someone is discipling your children.
Someone is shaping their loves, teaching them what matters, and forming their view of truth, identity, authority, beauty, sexuality, success, suffering, and God. It may be Scripture, or it may be screens. It may be godly parents, or it may be ungodly peers. It may be wise voices, or it may be algorithms.
No child is left unformed. The question is not whether your children will be discipled. The question is who will disciple them.
Mothers cannot afford to be passive. Not in this age, not with this much noise, and not with a world that is reaching for our children younger and younger.
We need tender mothers, yes. But we also need awake mothers.
There Is Still Time
Maybe you are reading this and you feel behind. Maybe you are parenting through grief, divorce, chronic illness, financial pressure, or the loneliness of carrying your home's spiritual temperature mostly alone. Maybe you have adult children and motherhood has become a quieter ache, less hands-on, but no less prayerful.
Hear me: there is still time.
There is still time to sow. Still time to pray. Still time to teach, repent, rebuild rhythms, soften your tone, strengthen your boundaries, speak truth, and trust God with the child who worries you most.
Isaiah 40:29 says, "He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength."
God does not give strength to the woman who pretends she is never tired. He gives power to the faint. That means you can come honestly, weak, worn, tearful, unsure, and He will not despise that. He will meet you there.
Join Me This Summer: Raising Arrows
This summer, I am sitting down with mothers just like you to talk about what biblical motherhood really looks like in a distracted age. We are going to cover:
Weariness, calling, and the holy weight of motherhood
Discipline and discipleship, and why both matter
Media, screens, and guarding the gates of your home
Raising teenagers and releasing adult children
Legacy and what we are really building, day by ordinary day
This is not a parenting series about having it all together. This is a series for the mama who is ready to mother on purpose.
Listen to Episode 1 Now
In the first episode of Raising Arrows, I talk through all of this and more, including what it really means that your children are arrows, the difference between perfect and faithful motherhood, and why the ordinary, hidden, unremarkable moments of your day are anything but ordinary in the eyes of God.
You can also find Beyond Brokenness on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and at voiceforthevulnerable.org/podcast.
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